happiness and friends

i. love. my. friends. i have a couple different groups of friends but i love that and hate that at the same time. it feels like i have 3 different lives sometimes. all groups are just so different from each other but i love them all the same. i've started realizing that having my friends is all i need right now. i dont need to be with a significant other to be happy or too have fun. i wouldnt want to be one those people rushing in a relationship to try to be happy. just let things happen on its own. were all going to college in a couple months. being that there is 30,000 kids at college, i am bound to find someone sooner or later so its better to just wait for now. but anyways, im starting to become happy with my life, and some of my close friends are becoming happier too (which in turn makes me happy). i am a believer in "everything happens for a reason" so i know eventually, everything will work out for the better.

senioritis

everyone knows what senioritis is. its when seniors start to not care about school anymore and pretty much do anything to get by. well....i majorly have senioritis. its gotten so bad that i dont even take my bookbag out of my car. pretty soon im not even going to be carrying a bookbag and i'll just have one folder with me with papers in it that i dont even look at. oopsies. and i pretty much tell myself that i dont have homework or tests to study for....even though i do. for example, i am about 3 chapters behind in econ right now and i really dont care. ahhhh graduation, where are you?

what's going on

for a senior in high school when everything should be awesome and always fun, its not. senior year is suppose to be the best year ever and right now sophomore year takes the cake for sure. now, all everyone cares about is getting hammered on the weekend and obsessing over their boyfriends and girlfriends and what not. why cant things be simple like they use to be? i really miss how things use to be and i hate that i kept looking into the past cause i know that we get me no where. i just want to have fun this year but everyone in my grade HATES each other for absolutely no reason and it really would be better if everyone could just stop with all the drama because in reality, 95 percent of the people we are never going to see again. i have a feeling its going to be a great summer so i just hope that time will speed up even though i know im going to miss this.

friends.

first off let me say that no matter how things got to this, im so grateful for the friends i have right now. along the way i have lost some of my best friends that i cant see myself getting back anytime soon. im sad to see that they are out of my life, but i hope they are truly happy in whatever they are doing. although some of them i wish i could rekindle the friendship that we use to have; if they wanted to mend things, then i know they would try harder to, so why should i have to be the one who always has to try to make things work? sometimes i wish i could go back in time and try fix some of the problems but i know in the end there would just be more problems down the road. im incredibly happy with the friends i have today, i dont know what i would do without them. i hope the friendships i have today will last for a lifetime and not be forgotten like some of my old friendships in the past. but looking at the past seems useless so i need to keep looking forward.

13 Reasons Why

right now im reading a book (i know, this never happens) called 13 reasons why. its about a teenage girl who commits suicide and records 13 tapes dedicated to 13 people who negatively influenced her to kill herself. its an interesting story but it leaves behind a bigger message...think about what you do or say before you do it because in the end you never know who it affects. its sad to see people being bullied everyday for no reason. are they really that insecure about their own lives? dont act cool and hide behind social networking to gang up on innocent people. i dont know, just a pet peeve of mine. 

where to begin

well this is my first time ever blogging so i dont really know what to expect or what exactly to write about. i guess im suppose to write how im feeling or how my day went, but i still dont know where to begin. well today was overall a shitty besides the fact that i got to play kick over in gym class (shame on you if you dont know what that is) with my best friend. i dont know why but everytime we play it, it makes the day just a tad better, maybe because the fact that us "swimmers" are unbeatable at it. but anyway, after kick over was over and 9th period started it all just went down hill from there. nance's college level class literally makes me want to throw a book at my face. first of all nance HATES girls which means we always get punished for doing while the boys could be lighting candles all around her room and doing nothing. something is wrong with that picture. and normally towards the end of the day is when the bad mood kicks in because of the dreadful swim practice. not that i couldnt handle what the workout was, but the fact that the pool was like -234917209 degrees made me so angry because i hate being cold especially when there is no way of being warm cause all we are in is rinky dinky swim suits. ugh, angry. then to top it off boys (of course) have to make everything......worse. dont want to get into that but i'll just say that boys are annoying. they think girls are confusing? ha. but then i have to wake up and....repeat the cycle, except school since its a saturday. whoopdy doo. i love waking up at 745 to do a 3 hour practice. so overally, today wasnt the greatest but hopefully the new week will bring better days to reach the ultimate goal of being, happy.